Deadliest Catch.

Computer games.

God bless America.

The box of Benadryl said, “Do not use to make children sleep.”

But I am not a child. So this is okay.

I will be out in less than twenty minutes and it will be


I’ve noticed recently that Mary Jane makes me want to watch Everybody Loves Raymond.

I have yet to decide how this makes me feel.

Sales Pitch.

  • Mom: I'm having digestive problems.
  • Me: Do you need to smoke some dope? It'll help ya.
  • Mom: No, I do NOT need to smoke some dope.
  • Me: It's good for it, though. It increases your appetite. Lots of patients use it.
  • Mom: I don't need help with my appetite; I need help with my stomach.
  • Me: Then eat lots of fiber bars!


Whispered words
Tangled in the cobwebs
In the corner of an old room
That I’ve known for a while
Stacks of dvd’s
And clothes thrown on couches
Doors half open
And windows locked tight
The smell of rainforests
And marijuana smoke
Cottonmouth, wash it down
With a little Absolut
Absolutely fantastic
"Line dancing in cursive"
Make my night a little better
Let me show you my style
Find out I can do it better
Don’t underestimate
The weight of our words
And results of our actions
I was never that good
At calculating consequences
Or maybe I was, I just forgot
How to add, Mrs. Parker would be pissed
If she could see my hands
Both of them full
Bottle and a cigarette
But I promise, I promise
One day this will all be done
I’ll leave behind these things
I’ve done, and go to church
And move away, I’ll be back again someday
Maybe if you see me, I’ll say hi
Or I might call you if I’m in town
But don’t get your hopes up
But really, I promise, I promise
Even though my eyes are red
And I regret some of the things I’ve said
I’ll tell you time and again
That you are the one I want
And if you want me around
I won’t let you down
I won’t let you down
I promise, I promised you
Yes, I remember that too
To never hurt you
To honestly be honest
And open with you
You will be my only one
Just tell me that you want it too
And I’ll live out my promises